The Beauty Trap: Finding Your True Self in an Industry of Perfection

Welcome to the debut episode of Mind. Beauty. Spirit. Today, we're blending spirituality, authenticity, and business in an industry that often demands perfection. If you’ve ever felt the pressure to look flawless, be flawless, and hide the parts of yourself that feel “unconventional,” this episode is for you.

Together, we’ll talk about the unspoken pressures of the beauty industry, the toll of perfectionism, and how setting boundaries and embracing your unique strengths can help you create a career that feels both fulfilling and true to who you are.

This episode is more than just a podcast; it’s an invitation to redefine success, honor your intuition, and release limiting beliefs that may be holding you back. Join me as we break free from the beauty trap and step into a path of purpose, energy, and authenticity.

If you’re ready to journey with me, let’s get started. And don’t forget to check out the exclusive opportunities for my Inner Circle and book launch team—I’d love to have you as part of this powerful community!

And don’t forget to tune in next week for Episode 2, where we’ll be exploring the Heart-Driven Hustle—a fresh approach to business that leads with love, purpose, and passion.

Want to lead your market? OxyVERVE™ packs 7 powerhouse modalities into one unforgettable experience—clients get the results they crave, and you get the profits. Ready to differentiate yourself in a 'sea of same?' Let's connect!

Follow the fun on IG: oxyverve.life

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro to Mind. Beauty. Spirit
• 1:57 Embracing Authenticity in the Beauty Industry
• 3:09 The Beauty Industry’s Standards vs. True Self
• 5:40 Setting Personal Standards
• 7:36 The Cost of Perfectionism
• 9:28 Setting Boundaries as Self-Care
• 12:10 Embracing Unique Strengths
• 15:09 Guided Meditation: Embracing Your Unique Strengths
• 19:49 Releasing Limiting Beliefs
• 23:32 Redefining Success on Your Terms
• 27:35 The Power of Intuition
• 30:24 Invitation to Join Deb’s Inner Circle
• 30:35 Closing and Heartfelt Thanks
• 31:01 Experience OxyVERVE™

Transcript

Welcome to Mind Beauty Spirit

Welcome to Mind Beauty Spirit, where we're diving into what it truly means to build a beauty career that's authentic, purposeful, and aligned with who you are at the core. This season, we're getting real about what authenticity looks like in our lives and our careers because they don't have to be separate.

And it all starts with breaking free from the beauty trap—those impossible standards, the polished images, and the endless chase for perfection that often leaves us feeling like we're just not enough. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. Today's episode is so much more than an intro—it's an invitation to redefine beauty and success in a way that doesn't just look good but feels deeply aligned with who you truly are.

Each episode of this podcast is actually a companion to my new book, Mind Beauty Spirit: Soul-Aligned Success for the Beauty Boss. Every week, we'll dive into a new chapter from the book, kind of like a book club with a personal audio guide. Together, we're going to explore topics that celebrate your purpose, your energy, and yes, your soul.

And if you're here because you're craving a career that feels values-based, purposeful, and truly unique to you, then you're in exactly the right place. For me, that career blends business expertise and spiritual intuition into one beautiful package, and I believe the same is possible for you.

Here's something extra exciting: if you're curious to get a head start, you can join my inner circle as part of my book launch team. Just head to my website and click "Join My Launch Team" to receive an advanced copy of Mind Beauty Spirit before anyone else. I'd love your honest feedback as we shape this journey together.

Let's kick this season off by breaking free from the beauty trap and stepping into a career that celebrates your unique magic. Ready? Let's dive in.

Episode One: A New Path Forward

Alright, so today we're going to start off episode one by talking about a new path forward—a path led by intuition, authenticity, and a career that feels truly soul-aligned. So grab some coffee, settle in, and let's get started.

Let's start with the beauty industry itself. It's exciting, it's vibrant, and it's always changing. But there is another side to it too, and that's the unspoken pressure—the pressure to always look perfect, be perfect, and live a life that looks amazing on the outside. We see it all over social media, right? Flawless skin, perfect hair—every detail seems effortless. But as beauty professionals, we know the reality is anything but effortless.

Why do you think filters were created? So what can we do about all these pressures? First, let's start by acknowledging them. Simply saying, "Yes, this is real. These pressures exist" is powerful. It doesn't make us any less professional or less dedicated to question the standards we're constantly fed by the beauty industry. In fact, questioning them is empowering because here's the truth: the beauty industry standards aren't created for our authentic selves. They're trends and ideals that often don't match our unique values or what makes us feel good.

So take a minute and think about that. What pressures are you feeling? Are there any expectations or routines you're following that don't truly align with who you are?

Here's where I'm coming from: I'm turning 55 this year, and I let my hair go platinum during the pandemic. I'm not going to say gray. Honestly, it was the best thing to come out of that time. And yes, I'm definitely in need of a little tox right now. I have zero shame in that. I do it because I enjoy caring for myself, not because I'm chasing some unrealistic standard of perfection.

And that's the key question: who am I doing this for? For myself? Or because I feel pressured to look a certain way? For me, letting my hair go—I refuse to call it gray—has been a revelation. I was blessed with this gorgeous platinum color that people constantly question if it's real. Once, I had a woman in a bar actually reach out and touch my hair, asking me if it was mine. I was like, "Okay, if I say no, are you going to try to yank it off like it's a wig and toss it across the bar?" Awkward.

But since the pandemic, I've also ditched the gel nails. Now, there's nothing wrong with that; of course, we're in this industry. But for me, I lived in Florida by the beach, and I just felt like I didn't need that anymore. But believe me, I still get my Botox and fillers, right? So I keep my nails polished, short, and well-manicured, but don't even think about asking me to give up my Botox or fillers.

Friends, please find an injector who won't make you look like a goldfish wearing lipstick. It's just really not a good look.

Alright, so let's be real here. Constantly having to be on can take a serious toll on our mental health. Whether we're spending hours crafting the perfect Instagram post, making sure we're camera-ready, or curating every tiny detail to align with some image of perfection, the expectation is exhausting. And I know I'm not the only one who's felt that way.

The truth is, all that effort we're putting into keeping up appearances often leaves us feeling stretched way too thin. It can drain our energy, mess with our emotions, and make us question our own worth if we don't live up to those impossible standards. When we're constantly striving for perfection, it's like we're pouring all our energy into this bottomless pit that doesn't give anything back.

We end up chasing ideals that don't really reflect who we are or what actually fulfills us. So here's a little invitation for you and for me: let's take a step back and ask ourselves, what would it feel like if we allowed ourselves to just show up as who we are? No filters, no flawless edits, just us. How freeing would that be?

Imagine being able to share the real you without worrying if every detail is perfect. Speaking of being real, I just had a moment of honesty hit me hard, like a little spirit check, if you will. Sometimes they’ll do that to me. It’s about my profile picture on my website. Full transparency—my skin probably didn't even look like that when I was a teenager, but I own it. I love that picture, and don't laugh at me, but my mom told me yesterday how great I looked when she was reviewing my new website. That cracks me up because guess what? Here's the kicker: it was generated using AI. Yeah, AI. It's my latest obsession. Shameless plug: if you want to dive into the rabbit hole with me, check out my podcast, BrandEdit.ai, for all the juicy details on how I use AI to bring brands to life.

But back to the topic at hand—mental health. Let's remember that while there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to put our best face forward (you see what I did there?), it's okay if our best face is sometimes a little less polished. What matters is that we're showing up as our true selves and not losing sight of what actually brings us joy and fulfillment. Perfection is overrated, friends. So maybe today give yourself permission to let go of perfect and lean into what feels real and meaningful to you.

Alright, let's talk about perfectionism for a second. In the beauty world, it almost feels like a job requirement. Like somewhere in the fine print it says, "Make it flawless or don't even bother." And hey, I get it—there's a certain thrill in getting every detail just right, but here's where it gets messy. Chasing perfection can come with a serious price tag. Think about it: when we're constantly pushing ourselves to hit that ideal of perfect, we're actually sacrificing something big—our peace of mind, our downtime, even our passion for what we do.

Perfectionism has a sneaky way of making us feel like we're never good enough, like there's always one more thing we should fix. And honestly, it's exhausting. Tell me if this sounds familiar: you're working on something, and you find yourself spiraling over every little detail. Like, does that eyeliner flick match on both sides? Or is that one strand of hair out of place? You end up pouring extra hours into something so small that in the end, nobody even notices. And there's a nagging voice that says, "If it's not perfect, it's not worth it."

But here's the game changer: good enough really is enough. Excellence doesn't mean flawless; it means delivering something that feels true to you and meaningful for your clients. It's about showing up with intention, not a magnifying glass to nitpick every little thing. And guess what? Your clients don't want perfect; they want you.

So let's shake things up. What if instead of chasing perfection, we focused on what feels authentic and fulfilling? Let's leave the perfectionism at the door and give ourselves permission to create work that's beautifully real. Because sometimes the beauty is in those little quirks and imperfections, and that's where the magic actually lives.

And if you catch yourself spiraling over a detail, take a breath and ask, "Is this really about making the work better, or is it just my perfectionism talking?" Let's keep it real, keep it authentic, and let that be our new version of perfect.

Alright, now let's talk about the B word—boundaries. I know it might not sound like the most thrilling topic, but stick with me because boundaries are everything in the beauty biz. Seriously, if there was a secret ingredient to surviving and thriving in this industry, boundaries would be it.

Here's the deal: we're living in a service industry, which often means that we feel like we need to say yes to everything—yes to every client request, every last-minute booking, every opportunity that comes our way. It's like we're stuck in some kind of beauty pro hunger games, but instead of fighting for survival, we're fighting for the perfect client experience. But here's the truth: saying yes to everything is a one-way ticket to burnout town, and we're not trying to go there.

Let's flip the script. Boundaries aren't just about shutting down opportunities; they're about choosing the ones that actually make sense for you. If cruelty-free products are non-negotiable for your brand, own it loud and proud. If your sanity requires a night off each week to watch trashy reality TV or binge your favorite Netflix show, then guard that time like your life depends on it.

Think of boundaries as your personal force field, keeping the good energy in and the draining energy out. And here's the kicker: boundaries aren't just about protecting your peace; they actually make your work better. When you're not saying yes to everything and spreading yourself paper-thin, you can focus all that amazing energy on the clients and projects that light you up. You're not just hustling; you're choosing, and that's powerful.

And let's be honest: setting boundaries might just make you a better pro. Imagine not being overcommitted and totally wiped out. Imagine having energy left in your tank for the things that matter most. You're showing up with intention, not just reacting to every little thing. That's next level, my friend.

So here's my challenge for you this week: find one boundary that you need to set. Maybe it's saying no to a client request that feels like it's pulling you away from your core values, or maybe it's carving out time in your week that's just for you—no work, no email, just whatever makes you feel like you. Start small, make it intentional, and see how that feels. Boundaries aren't boring; they're bold. They're you, standing firm in what you need and what you believe.

So let's make this fun, let's make it real, and let's commit to showing up authentically for ourselves just as much as we show up for everyone else. Because trust me, this is where the magic in your career begins.

Now I want to dive into one of my absolute favorite topics—your unique strengths. In an industry that's all about trends, it's so easy to feel like there's a right way to succeed, like you're supposed to fit into this mold to make it big. But here's the truth: trends are cool, but the magic you bring to the table—your unique strengths—that's what's going to make you stand out.

Now let's break it down. Maybe you've got this natural ability to make your clients feel completely at ease, like they're catching up with an old friend. Or maybe you're super passionate about wellness, and you bring a holistic approach that leaves people feeling refreshed inside and out. These qualities aren't just your nice-to-haves; they're your signature strength, your superpower, the secret sauce that only you can offer.

And when you lean into those things, you're not just providing a service; you're creating an experience, a vibe that clients are going to remember and come back for month after month. Now, if you're a creative and you enjoy spending hours on TikTok making the latest looks or creating hilarious reels, then do that! We love watching what you create.

My own superpower is creating content from my cozy grandma chair. Yeah, I am a grandma! I'm a Mima to four amazing grandbabies, and I'm completely obsessed with them. But put me in that chair with a laptop, and I'm in my zone. Sometimes I swear there are invisible strands of energy just bursting out of my brain when I'm deep into my creative zone. That's where I'm the happiest—writing, dreaming up content, and combining it with all my intuition to support my clients. That's my zone of genius.

So I want you to ask yourself: what lights you up? What are those things that make you feel like you're in your element? Because when you're working from that space, you're tapping into your unique strengths, and trust me, clients can feel that energy. Trends are going to come and go, but the experience you create with your one-of-a-kind magic—that's timeless.

Here's a little challenge for you this week: think about the last few times clients or coworkers complimented you. What were they saying? Was it your creativity, your kindness, your knack for knowing exactly what they need? Write down three things that make you, you—three things that light you up—and own those things. Because leaning into those strengths is how you stand out in a crowded industry.

So let's make your unique vibe your superpower. Let's lean into what feels true to you and create something unforgettable, something magical, mystical, attractive, and magnetic.

Guided Meditation on Embracing Your Unique Strengths

Okay, it's time for a little guided meditation on embracing your unique strengths. This is a little gift for you in this episode. If you're not into meditation or you don't have time for this, no worries—go into the timeline and fast forward.

Find a comfortable spot where you can settle in, close your eyes, and just be present. Take a deep breath in, and exhale, releasing any tension you might be holding. Let yourself relax, knowing that this time is just for you. Silence your phone, grab a blanket, and just be.

As you breathe in, imagine a gentle, beautiful golden light filling your body from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. This light is warm, calming, and filled with love and acceptance. And as you exhale, feel any self-doubt, stress, or pressure leaving your body—just let it melt away.

Now I want you to visualize a place that brings you peace. This could be a quiet beach, a cozy room, a forest trail, or even your favorite chair at home. Let yourself arrive in this space fully. Feel the ground beneath you, hear the soft sounds around you, and let yourself relax deeply.

Are you there? Take a moment to bring to mind one of your unique strengths. This could be a skill, a quality that you have, a passion—something that feels like it's the core part of who you are. Maybe it's the way you make people feel comfortable and seen, or maybe it's your creativity.

Now I want you to imagine this strength as a beautiful glowing light in the center of your chest. With every breath in, see that light grow stronger and brighter, filling you with a sense of confidence and calm. Feel it expand with every inhale, lighting up your entire body. This light represents the unique gifts you bring to the world—the qualities that make you, you.

As you sit here, let yourself feel proud of this strength. Feel the warmth radiating from within, knowing that this part of you is something special—something that your clients, friends, and loved ones see, value, and appreciate in you. This is your unique energy. It's your superpower.

Take a few moments here to repeat to yourself, either out loud or in your mind: "I honor my unique strengths. I bring something valuable to the world that no one else has. My light is a one-of-a-kind light, and I'm proud of who I am." Breathe deeply, letting these words settle in your heart, and feel the strength and warmth of your unique light, knowing it's always there within you, ready to shine wherever you need it.

When you're ready, slowly begin to bring your awareness back to the present. Wiggle your fingers and your toes, and when you're ready, open your eyes. Take a moment to notice how you're feeling, carrying this light and confidence with you. Remember, your unique strengths are always there waiting to shine.

If you'd like to fully immerse in this meditation and return to it whenever you need, head over to my YouTube channel, where you can listen as often as you like. Let's make it a practice of honoring your unique strengths anytime you need a reminder of the incredible light that you bring to the world.

Addressing Limiting Beliefs

Alright, let's get real about something I see far too often: limiting beliefs. Ick. Those sneaky little snarky voices that pop up saying things like, "I'll never book up like those other estheticians with big busy practices. They're experts, and I'm just trying to figure it out." Or, "I've been at this for over a year, and I'm still not as busy as I need to be. I must not be cut out for running a business." Or that classic one: "I can't charge what I'm worth because no one will pay those prices." Sound familiar? Listen, you're not the discount esthetician—stop doing that to yourself.

Here's the truth: those thoughts are not facts. They're just stories. Stories that we tell ourselves out of fear and insecurity, or simply because we're comparing our journey to someone else's highlight reel. And let me tell you, limiting beliefs like these are like invisible chains holding you back from stepping into your full power and potential.

I can see it in my mind's eye—those chains holding so many of you back, and it breaks my heart. Now, if you don't know, I'm a partner with the Money Making Esthetician group, and it honestly breaks my heart to see these kinds of limiting beliefs popping up in the feed every single day. If I could, I'd jump right through the ethers and give each and every one of you an incredible hug. And I would pour all my marketing wisdom into that hug—straight into your minds and practices. I want to channel activations to clear out that old stuck energy and strengthen your spirit so that you can show up in your power, fully owning your worth.

So let's do a little exercise together. I want you to pick one limiting belief that's been weighing you down—just one. Maybe it's the feeling that you're not as good as others in your field or the fear that you're never going to be able to charge what you're worth. Okay, got it? Now I want you to ask yourself, where did that belief come from? Was it something you internalized from social media? A comment someone once made? Or maybe an experience that really knocked your confidence? Often when we dig deep, we find that these beliefs aren't rooted in truth; they're just fear dressed up as facts.

Okay, imagine you're holding a sticky note in your hand right now. You can see those words—the limiting belief spelled out right in front of you. Maybe it says, "I'll never be as successful as other estheticians," or "I can't charge what I'm worth." Whatever it is, you're holding it there, and it's about to go up in flames.

Now picture this: you strike a match, you bring it to the corner of that sticky note, and watch as it catches on fire. Feel the warmth, see the flames growing as it burns. Imagine that belief breaking down and disappearing into ashes and smoke. Let it burn, baby! We're letting that outdated, limited thought go up in smoke because it has no place in your life anymore.

There's something incredibly powerful about seeing that old belief burn away, leaving you free and open for new empowering thoughts. As the last bit of that sticky note turns to ash, take a deep breath and let yourself feel the release. That belief is gone; it's dust, and it no longer has any hold on you.

And now we've got space for something new—something that actually supports you. What empowering thought can you replace it with? Maybe it's, "I attract clients who value my unique gifts." I know I do. "I deserve to be paid for my expertise." I know I do. Whatever new belief you choose, imagine it taking root in the space where the old one used to be, growing strong and solid like the foundation for your success.

So remember, when those limiting beliefs creep back in, just grab a match and let them burn because you've got way too much magic to let anything hold you back.

Redefining Success

Okay, so we've tackled the limiting beliefs and burned them to the ground. Now let's talk about something just as important: redefining what success really means for you. Because here's the thing: the industry might make us feel like success is all about big numbers, a huge following, or that picture-perfect aesthetic on Instagram. But is that really your version of success, or is it someone else's idea? What if instead of chasing those external markers, success could mean something deeply personal to you?

Imagine if success meant having a career that truly fulfills you, clients who light up when they see you, and work that aligns with what you genuinely love to do. Imagine a version of success that feels good to you instead of just looking good.

Here's the truth: success is so much more than numbers or likes or trendy content. Real success is that feeling of alignment—that inner spark and the joy that comes from doing work that feels like an extension of who you are. When we define success based on what actually matters to us, it doesn't just feel more achievable; it feels more real.

So here's a question for you: what does success feel like for you? Not what it looks like—what it feels like. Is it peace? Is it connection? Is it waking up excited for the day? Take a minute to really think about this. Success isn't a one-size-fits-all, and you have permission to define it however you want.

Let's do a little exercise together. Grab a piece of paper, your journal, or just open up the notes app. Write down your vision of success as if you are already living it—let's manifest. Maybe it's, "I have clients who value me and the energy I bring," or "I wake up feeling excited and fulfilled by the work I do." Keep it personal, but specific, and most importantly, make it feel good.

And here's a little tip: keep that vision close. Make it a screensaver, jot it on another sticky note, or get bold and write it on your mirror in red lipstick. I don't care, but let it be a daily reminder that your version of success is valid, powerful, and totally yours. Because every single time you see that vision, you're tuning into what truly matters—not what the world tells you to chase.

Remember, success isn't about fitting someone else's mold or caring about their opinion of you like I did for so many years. It's about creating one that feels right for you. It's about saying, "This is my life, my career," and guess what? I get to decide what fulfillment looks like. So let's stop letting the industry define success for us; let's define it for ourselves and make it something we're super proud of—something we feel in our hearts, in our souls, in our minds, in our spirit.

So my challenge again for you: spend a little time defining what success feels like for you. Write it down, keep it close, and whenever you feel lost or pressured to keep up, come back to the vision that you created. Let it ground you, guide you, and remind you that the path that you're on is the right one as long as it feels authentically aligned with who you are.

Join me on this journey. For me, it's a blend of business savvy and spiritual depth—mind, beauty, and spirit all rolled into one. And I'm calling back all those different parts of myself and uniting them to create a business that's uniquely and authentically me. It's no longer about having separate roles or identities; it's about weaving them all together beautifully in one cohesive vision that feels real and true to who I am.

Wrap-Up: Embracing Your Inner Magic

Alright, let's wrap up with something very near and dear to my heart—a little bit of woo. As my mom lovingly calls it, woo-woo. Here's the thing: we all have this inner voice, a spark of magic inside that knows what's right for us. Call it intuition, call it your inner guide, God—call it whatever resonates with you. In a world constantly telling us what to do, who to be, and what's on trend, this inner voice cuts through all the noise. It's that little nudge that says, "Yes, this is for you," or "No, not this time." And when you start tapping into that voice, it's like having your own secret superpower.

So if you're ever feeling torn or overwhelmed by all the advice, trends, and outside opinions, remember to take a beat and listen to your inner guidance. You don't have to jump on every bandwagon, and you definitely don't have to say yes to every opportunity. You've got a compass inside you that knows exactly what feels right and what doesn't.

And here's a fun little exercise to connect with your woo: next time you're faced with a choice, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, "What feels aligned?" It might sound simple, but that gut reaction, that little spark of excitement or peace—that's your intuition speaking.

I get it: sometimes following your intuition feels like stepping into the unknown, especially when it goes against the grain. But every time you trust that inner voice, you're telling yourself and the world that you believe in your own unique path. There's so much strength in that, my friend.

So let's make a little pact here: let's commit to honoring that bit of woo within, and let's make space for intuition, even when the world tries to pull us in every direction. Because when we tune into our inner magic, we're not just building a career or a brand; we're creating a life that's fully, beautifully aligned with who we truly are.

And remember, the world could use a little more woo and a whole lot more of you.

Conclusion

Alright, beauty bosses, that's a wrap on this week's episode of Mind Beauty Spirit. Today, we dove deep exploring the pressures of the beauty industry, releasing perfectionism, setting boundaries, celebrating your unique strengths, letting go of limiting beliefs, redefining success, and tapping into the power of intuition.

Thank you for being here, for showing up for yourself, and for being part of this journey. This isn't just a podcast; it's a community, and I'm so grateful you're part of it. Before we wrap up, I want to take a moment to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Creating Mind Beauty Spirit has been a journey filled with passion, purpose, and some serious soul work. Knowing you're here, listening, sharing, and connecting with these messages means everything to me.

This isn't just about me; it's about building a tribe of like-minded, heart-driven souls who are ready to show up as their fullest, most authentic selves and then go spread that love to the humans they serve.

And don't forget, I'm gathering a book launch team for Mind Beauty Spirit. Join the team, get early access to the book, and help me bring this vision together. Finally, make sure to tune in for our next episode, where we'll be diving into heart-driven hustle—all about leading with love and bringing that deeper passion into every part of your business. Think of it as the ultimate pep talk for creating a business that's as heart-centered as it is successful.

Alright, beauty bosses, until next time, keep shining, keep trusting that inner voice, and remember the world needs more of your magic.